When I started this blog, it was something to help me journal my weeks. Harness my thoughts and put them into structure for others to read.
My ramblings have been a little scattered about, but not so much as I do not stay in a certain corridor of ideology. Which, I probably think that and don’t realize I may be the “weird” one. Yes, my subjects are not linear by any means. My mind and thoughts are as vast as the solar system.
I have hidden a very large amount of my past articles, as they got super political, which is something I am not. Felt some who would read my writings would get offended. Feel like I am attacking them and their political views. My disappointment solely lies with the enablers. Enablers of hatred, division, and self-enrichment from others. I just don’t feel people should be quiet about things when they see something wrong.
We should always push towards the right way, even though it may not always feel good. So, I pulled the posts. I did not pull the belief behind them. This is just me saying it a different way.
What we are experiencing at this very moment is a test of our resilience in the United States. If we overcome it, the challenge will still always be in front of us. If we lose, we lose a lot, and the return to status quo will be long and hard. Thing is a lot of us have lost ourselves in all this.
We have lost ourselves to greed, lust, pride, envy, gluttony, wrath, and sloth. You see what I did there? I am not pushing this to Biblical speak, but I will say, they are feelings, emotions, and actions that can lead us to stop loving one another and start looking out only for ourselves.
Interesting fact: you will not find these listed together as the “seven deadly sins” in a Bible. The list was developed through early Christian teachings and was later systematized in the Western Church. Man-made, not God-given. Which means we do not get to call it human nature and shrug.
Anyways, I fight a few of those on a daily and weekly basis. It is a constant struggle and a reminder that I am just human. Yet I can be of value to this Earth. Somehow, someway. My struggle as of recent is just being tired.
My health has declined through poor eating choices and lack of simple exercise. Days are spent stressing over how to pay bills and still eat. A life that started around six years ago. I hit financial rock bottom, and I picked myself up and kept pushing forward, and it drained me physically and mentally in a way I did not expect. It is an everyday ordeal.
Not being that far up there in age, the toll it took spread to my wife. Her health is in shambles. Stress and struggle are a part of life, but where does it end? When do things just happen to be okay?
You think things are getting better, then the price of energy skyrockets, groceries climb another double-digit percentage, and more companies stop letting you own your life or your moments, but lease or subscribe to them.
I have made bad choices, many bad choices. Going from living nearly two decades very comfortably, to losing everything in the pandemic, to starting from nothing. Seriously. No vehicle, barely able to pay rent in the home I had moved into after my home foreclosed. Walking to a job at a convenience store when for the last two decades I managed hundreds of people and had “that office” people yearn for.
Well, my life crashed. What came after was years of getting my head straight, refocusing myself, realizing what was important.
Bottom line is life costs money. This is the way we made it. We can’t fully escape it, but we can scale it down. Down to where we can handle it. It takes discipline and it takes letting envy, pride, and greed go. It takes realizing all of that “reality” you think you see on social media feeds and shows, it’s all scripted. All for likes, clicks, and engagement.
I dream of a life in a small village, in a cottage by a river. In some mountains, woods, or hills. Something simple, quaint, and affordable. Neighbors around me, maybe small 2-to-3-acre micro farms. Trading eggs, vegetables, produce, canned goods. Helping one another and communion. Enjoying what God gave us. A real community. A place where my dogs can stretch their legs and be dogs. Somewhere, when they pass, I can place them into the ground and plant a tree to remember them by. That is my dream.
Even though I turn the corner in my town now to see 4000+ square foot monstrosities being erected all around. Why? I grew up in a 1300 square foot home with four siblings and two parents. I can fathom a few thousand square feet or slightly more, but homes here are getting obnoxious.
What are we doing? What has happened to us?
I shall keep publishing these essays. Somehow, someway, I will make my dream a reality. It will take some things I currently do not have an abundance of. The few things I do have are love and optimism.
DAK