My eyes follow the light through the blinds onto the floor. The interesting shapes and forms come to life in what is really just an illusion. One that is understood. The look on my face would make most feel I am angry, which I am not. I am in deep thought about a lot.
Lately, the shapes and forms in my life are not understood. Nothing is making sense.
Of the life changes in the last four years, I do not know where to start. The fact that we as humans can spend our entire lives chasing an idea. An idea of perfection that does not exist. This idea caresses your pupils as you aimlessly glare at Instagram, Facebook, Tik Tok, and more. Books, movies, and commercials push these unobtainable notions into minds that will receive this with no critical thought.
I am guilty. I always knew better, but I did anyways.
Then I just said NO MORE.
The path and journey I have veered unto have thus far enlightened me beyond my rationality. It is truly amazing how my demeanor is now, my lack of focus on the noise, and my complete disregard for the material. It is freeing. Somedays, I stop and think about how I used to be. Then I grin and carry on. I am in no way shape or fashion where I need to be, but so far, this path is much clearer. Well, clearer where I am walking. As to what is surrounding me is a different subject.
People hate one another for crazy things.
Total and complete self-absorption. Want to talk about narcissism? Find the proper definition and take notes. Now, look at your life and your things. Now evaluate.
Some will be surprised. Might be a good idea to quit throwing the word around carelessly.
The same goes for those who want to focus on what is wrong more than what is right.
Find people who share common goals and aspirations.
By the way, where did all my friends go?
Not too many years ago, I remember having more friends than I had time. These days, it is exactly the opposite. Disheartening as it can be, I do appreciate the fact I am not always obligated to someone or something. I can count true friends on one or two fingers. Hopefully more. Yet here lately, minds and life have gotten the better of them, which put me in a position of confusion and total astonishment. Friends all have boundaries. These you must always respect. Sometimes it takes a bit to understand and find these boundaries, yet it needs to be something taken seriously.
When you find yourself in a situation in which a friend is considering you a cause of an issue with them, it is important to realize why they would think such. Putting information out that may allude to such? Actions or words that could put you as one who would incite an issue? You will find yourself being too free and in the minute, have suspecting gazes on you. Even when you had absolutely nothing to do with such, you win the suspicion because you were there and they shared something or even someone else could point at you. This is life. Being honest is one thing, but feeding a weary mind the same information can be dangerous.
The same goes for relationships. Nothing can be simple. Ever.
The complication of human intention is complex. It can range from innocent to diabolical and anywhere in between. There is no book or psychiatrist that can fully pinpoint all intentions and gauge the honesty or worthiness of words that come from the mouths of lovers. You would hope you can trust your spouse, but can you? There are couples that exist on a plane together and it just clicks, although, that is very rare. One partner or the other has one goal and the other another goal. Who knows exactly what these are, but they will do anything at all costs to achieve their goal. This is common in all relationships.
Do not frown or think that life is horrible, that is far from the truth. It is beautiful and it takes strife, pain, and struggle to find that beauty. That being said, this is life as I know it.
There are humans that will do anything at all costs to find what they feel will make life good for THEM. No one else. This cause a conundrum. You may get caught up in their games. This brings me to the basic fact of life.
There is good, and there is evil. Choose good.
This is life as I know it. You must be honest, sometimes it hurts.
Choose love not anger, hate, or indifference. I do and it has freed my soul. When will you?