The Art of Failure: Losing and Learning

Upon every journey in one’s life, there comes victories, defeats, and struggles. The manner in how we deal with these determine everything moving forward from them. If one is to possess too much confidence with victories, it can cause catastrophic results when the negative situations are not humbling to that person. Therefore, causing “blinders” of reality to become obstructive to life’s views. On the other hand, if one is to learn how to achieve victory, they must utilize the lessons of struggle. One defeat, let alone, several defeats, does not equal total loss. Remember that!

We are conditioned to not actualize defeat. That is, not understand the reality of it. As something we all are accustomed to, it is not a subject that many share. Why would you tell someone you lost? A good portion of society has been ingrained with focusing on victories and mothing more. Furthermore, sharing and communicating these victories. Again, no one wants to “brag” about a defeat. I could put in the thousands upon thousands of smug quotes that back this up.

Look at those who can’t handle defeat. This has always been a phenomenon worth looking into. They refuse to admit defeat as they feel if they convince themself, it is not true, then, it will not be true. Wrong. Many different words for this syndrome, sore loser being the most common. Those who keep up the farce that they did not do wrong, were defeated, or deny something that really happened, that is delusional. Again, the culture in which these types of individuals grew up put so much emphasis on winning. Their peers portrayed losing as the end of the world. Reality is, these people have lost a lot, they just learn to twist and distort reality to their advantage. We learned from one of the best just a few short years ago, but they are not alone in this mental illness. It is more common than some want to admit.

Long before electronic and digital communication, simple postcards shared these victories. Friends, relatives, and loved ones sent letters or short updates on the happenings in their lives. Having read through historic records, I always found these to be cheerful and upbeat from the author of such. Here and there, you would find someone entail of a misadventure, an illness in the house, or even an untimely death. Shrouded around this was always context to help the reader feel at ease. Fast forward to now. Social media, cell phones, emails, etc. These are all channels that majority use to share in victories instead of defeats. Well, most of what you see is not actually reality. Probably 98% of it. Seriously.

The defeated and the ones who struggle have no one that wants to listen to them. Read that again to let the reality of that sentence sink in. It is harsh, unacceptable, and a very large reason we have issues with mental illness in our society. The gurus tell you to “separate yourself from negativity”. Those who follow that mantra take it literally. They separate themselves from the people needing help. Help being a good word, love, or support.

Losing is a part of life.

We are destined to fail at many things. Everyone does. Everyone. It is a matter of how you learn from those situations and outcomes. Finding a lesson is key. Learning how to overcome these life lessons is vital. People will shun away from those who are in a “rut”. It is by the sheer nature of society not being strong enough to live their lives and help others as well. People are focused on themselves and nothing else. We didn’t get to this point as humans by segregating from one other. This came with technology and those in lieu of riches.  We were once tribes, and the tribes were only strong as a whole.  Think about this.

Surround yourself with people who care.

When you are deep in the depths of a struggle with whatever it may be, remember, there is someone going through the same. Find someone to share it with and do not be afraid of judgment. Judgement is an ideal we invented from hatred. For those who judge, move on from them. I can assure you that you will find a soul that cares and can help in some way. It is ingrained in our DNA to do such, but many let greed and selfishness overcome that genetic disposition.

When you find “friends”, you may have one or two out of the twenty that are “real”. This is common, and the laws of averages back this up. You must put yourself in situations and in places to find those who have shared the same failures or life lessons. There you will find resilience and wisdom. If not, a dog or cat provides as much support as one can need. They know you are flawed and love you more than you realize.

Always admit the loss and commit to learning from it.

When I speak of “victories”, it is not of the monetary or material. It is of the heart, mind, and soul. Those things do not have a monetary value and will be with you your entire life. Take care of them and learn to overcome. To learn more about overcoming and more, subscribe to my blog as there will be many more great insights.

Coming from someone who has failed miserably at many things, I can tell you my victories are just as common. I am a work in process just as you are. We learn from our mistakes. You lose, you get defeated, you get beat…pick yourself up and keep going.

When life is loud, the reality and truth get buried. Here, I live this life of reality and truth indiscreetly. I am here to share. You can always reach me via my email.


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